Sometimes I’m up in the skies sometimes I’m down on the sand.
Sometimes I want to go out
Breathe in the fresh crisp air
Fill my lungs with life
Curve my lips into a smile
Expose my crooked teeth to the sun,
Close my eyes,
Feel the breeze envelope my skin,
Take a deep breath and just feel,
Just swim, in the levitating feeling of life,
Of being alive,
Of a new breath,
A Satisfying inhalation,
Bliss swelling in my chest.
Sometimes I want to hold wine glasses and friendly smiles,
I want to shake hands and exchange jokes,
And whine my waist on Duke.
I want to high-five five friends and tilt my head back in laughter.
I want my toenails polished red like wine,
And my breath reeking of booze,
I want to feel the soles of my feet on carpet while I touch my knees,
I want my braids to fall on my eyes,
And my toes curling, and nails digging skin.
And sometimes I want to go to a new place and take pictures,
With Jessica with the plump lips and bright smile.
Sometimes I want to have coffee with Bryson,
And discuss Ancient Greece.
Sometimes, I want to turn up to every class and absorb books like sponge,
When sometimes, I want to copy Georgina's assignment and cross my fingers,
Sometimes I want to go zip lining,
And hear the echo of my scream,
While adrenaline fires my bones,
Sometimes I want to dive the sky while holding hands with crazy friends,
The wind sounding like bliss and happiness.
Sometimes I miss the clink of glasses
and sometimes I want to do a perfect cut crease.
Sometimes I want to go-kart,
Inhale the smell of burnt rubber,
Defeat someone maybe,
Abd flash a friendly smile.
Sometimes I want to push the limits,
Race a stranger on a highway,
Jump from a waterfall?
Sometimes I want to adorn heels on the ceramic pavement,
And sometimes I want to invite Hugh over for a chat and Lawson's.
Sometimes I want to be screaming in pleasure and sometimes I want a lively chat with pictures on the balcony.
Sometimes I'm beautiful in the mirror and everyone knows it.
And I'm in love with pictures and green eyeliner,
And sometimes I want to wear my favorite jeans and turn up to plans.
And sometimes I don't want to step out.
I want to hide under covers like a frightened snail under a shell.
I want to pull the sheets over my head and weep,
Sink deep,
Into my own black turmoil and sleep.
Wonder if beauty is really skin-deep
Or if that is just but an excuse for those whom beauty standards cut deep.
Sometimes I like my clouds grey, like my sweats and socks,
I want an old handkerchief and silence for my tears,
I want to be alone, like a monk,
And to shovel snow around my cottage in winter.
Sometimes I hate yellow,
And the unnecessary optimism it brings.
Sometimes my love-hate relationship with JCole tilts towards hate,
And with rain tilts towards love,
And I want to stop and hide.
Sometimes tea is so tasteless and boring and I just want to drink water and sleep again
Sometimes grey is my favorite color,
And I love my dirty bedsheets
Sometimes I want to be stuck at 3pm and just remain half-dead while the world goes by,
Sometimes I want to drive to death slowly on a smooth highway,
Or get stuck in traffic for 72 hours in Bogota.
And I don't like how these socks feel.
Sometimes I feel like the sky is too bright and the rustle of leaves too loud,
And can you stop breathing so loudly?
Sometimes I have irk on my sleeve and I want to grate someone's skin,
And the song of evil is playing at full volume in my head,
Sometimes I want to explode on someone's face like a nuclear bomb,
And watch the scars form on their skin.
Sometimes my blood has a black tinge to it,
And you can choke on my glare.
Sometimes I want to delete all my apps and use my phone as a lib,
Sometimes I want to spit saliva stained with blood,
And cough the pain out of my lungs,
Sometimes I just need my cold sheets to hug me tight,
And tiny fingertips on the soles of my feet,
Sometimes my heart flutters like a weak plumage,
And the gap in my chest feels as big as a room,
Sometimes the tears just won't dry up,
And blades and candles won't stop calling my name,
Sometimes she's shouting at me so loud in my head,
And my conscience dangles handcuffs on my face.
Sometimes I feel the uncertainty banging it's fists on my chest,
And the hold on my throat means no escape.
And sometimes, my pillow is my only friend,
And words massage my shoulders.
But right now I want to smile because you probably don’t understand this.
Minky Moments 